Merry christmas Jokes messages Sayings for friends online facebook whatsapp Happy Xmas jokes with images wallpapers pictures: Christmas is a yearly celebration observed all over the world by various communities with high fervour and spirit. People are so crazy for this day that the festivities’ preparation begins days in advance. The air can be smelled filled with Plum cake, raisins, wine, and what-nots. Not just this, a lot of places observe an off on this day. Schools generally begin their two-week vacation starting Christmas. The day is also called as X-Mas and is praised on 25th December year by year. Blessed are the souls who visit the Church and offer prayer service on this day. It is high time that you prepped up in the Christmas revelry. It is high time that you prepped up in the Christmas revelry. To help you with the same, we have come up with a wide range of Merry Christmas jokes. These are good ice-breakers, in case the X-Mas gathering you are in consists of people you are meeting for the first time or after a long time. Explore the options now!
Merry christmas Jokes messages Sayings for friends online facebook whatsapp Happy Xmas jokes with images wallpapers pictures
Father Christmas: What’s your favorite Christmas story?
Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees!
Father Christmas: You mean ‘The Three Little Figs’.
After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.
“That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
“That’s still quite a bit,” Tom groused.
Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
Tom grew agitated, “What I mean,” he said, “is I’d like to see something real cheap.”
So the clerk handed him a mirror.
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. There was a romantic full moon, and Huan Cho said, “Hey baby, let’s play Weeweechu.”
“Oh no, not now. Lets just look at the moon”, said Jung Lee.
“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Huan Cho Begged.
“But I had rather just hold your hand and watch the moon.”
“Please Jung Lee, just once… play Weeweechu with me.”
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, “OK, we’ll play Weeweechu.”
Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang…
“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!
Three Wise Women
(as opposed to Three Wise Men)
Do you know what would have happened if there had been Three Wise WOMEN instead of Three Wise MEN?
The WOMEN would have:
– Asked directions, – Arrived on time,
– Helped deliver the baby,
– Cleaned the stable,
– Made a casserole, and
– Brought practical gifts (like diapers!)
It was a cold and misty Christmas morning in the very depth of Winter after a heavy fall of snow and only one farmer and the minister managed to arrive at the church for the morning service. “Well”, said the clergyman “’I guess there’s no point in having a service today.” “Well that’s not how I see it,” said the farmer. “If only one cow turns up at feeding time, I still feed it.’
At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas is allowed to speak and he says, “I like the mashed potatoes we have with the Christmas turkey!” and he sits down. Silence ensues for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael gets his turn, and he says “I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I hate them!”
Once again, silence for 366 days (it’s leap year). The following Christmas, Brother Paul rises and says, “I am fed up with this constant bickering!”
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”
“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…”
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Gramma is!”
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”
The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, “What do you want for Christmas?”
“Something for my mother, please.” said the young lady.
“Something for your mother? Well, that’s very thoughtful of you,” smiled Santa. “What do you want me to bring her? ”
Without blinking she replied, “A son-in-law!”
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”