happy Boss Day Jokes 2016 funny jokes messages quotes sayings cards: For the ones who share an informal, rather friendly, rapport with their bosses, humorous wishes strike the chord just too well. The day is all about thanking the boss and strengthening the relation with them. For the friendlier ones, the whole thing becomes a bit easier. Our happy Boss Day Jokes 2016, funny jokes, messages quotes, sayings cards help you wish as well as make the boss laugh a hearty laugh. So this Boss Day, ensure you get even closer to your boss, because they are your guiding lights.
happy Boss Day Jokes 2016 funny jokes messages quotes sayings cards
Boss: Why did you leave the job?
Boss: What was the trouble?
Applicant: My boss was sick of me!
Prayer of an Employee:
Give me the wisdom to understand my boss,
Give me the love to forgive him,
Give me the patience to understand his deeds
But dearest God, don’t give me power because if you give me power,
I will break his head”
Definition of a modern employer:
“A modern employer is one who is looking for men between 25 and 30 with 40 years of experience!
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
We are the first ones boss.
Arguing with your boss is like wrestling with a donkey in the mud. After sometime you will realize that you are getting dirty and the donkey is enjoying it.
To err is human
To forgive is against company policy.
The true lines on the T-shirt of an employee:
I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog!
Boss: Hey Tina (secretary), are you free on Sunday evening?
Tina: Yes absolutely!
Boss: Good, then come early to office on Monday morning!”
Employee: I want a raise in my salary. I am in demand and have two companies running after me.
Boss: Oh! I am really impressed. Which companies are they?
Employee: The electric and telephone company”
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized that there is no future in it.
Boss (angrily): Have you ever seen a fool?
Employee (looking down): No Sir.
Boss: Why are you looking down? Look at me.
Lampner’s law of employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave early, you will meet your boss at the parking lot.
Tips to remember when doing your duties:
If it rings, put it on hold
If it clanks, call the repairman
If it whistles, ignore it
If it’s a friend, take a break
If it’s the boss, look busy
If it talks, take notes
If it’s handwritten, type it
If it’s typed, copy it
If it’s copied, file it
If it’s a weekend, forget it.
After returning from lunch and being in a lighter mood,
Boss (to employees): Guys, today I will tell you some jokes!
After a few jokes, all employees burst into laughter, except one girl.
Boss: What happened? Why are you not laughing?
Girl: Sir, I am resigning tomorrow.”